• Ariana Atkins-Salazar

If, like me, your office Dancing with the Stars pool has just begun and you were unlucky enough to draw Marla Maples so that you now have not only a snowball's cha-cha chance in hell at winning the pot, but also feel like you are covered in Drumpf cooties, take heart. You needn't watch the slow, sequined car crash.

Skip the C-list drama and see some real dancing. In fact, you've got a rare chance to see some of our area's best dancers outside of a recital or a holiday show. The Arkley Center for the Performing Arts raises its velvet curtain for Dancing Stars of Humboldt on Saturday, March 26 at 7 p.m. ($15). Expect a cavalcade of styles from dancers and studios around the county. Breakdancing head-spinners The Humboldt Rockers will be both popping and locking, while the hip-shaking Ya Habibi belly dance takes the stage in a swirl of silks. Humboldt State University's Demolition squad and Ariana Atkins-Salazar and Milo Mateer bring hip-hop moves, while the Emerald Coast Irish Dancers stomp it out. There will be ballet from Trillium Dance Studio, an en pointe solo by Iris Van Atta, as well as a hybrid jazz-ballet performance by 2016 Vienna International Ballet Experience winner Melissa Hinz. 555 Dance comes with contemporary dance, and 7- and 9-year-old prodigies Teralee and Karlee Johnson go Broadway with their Hairspray number. Seriously.

There are plenty more names on the bill, which you can check out at www.dancingstarsofhumboldt.com — you may want to stretch.

Merde, everybody.