Bigfoot's Big Party

| September 02, 2010

My favorite sighting of Bigfoot was the time I ran into him in downtown Las Vegas. I know, I know, I should have reported it. But he didn't want me to. He was on vacation, he needed a break from the 24/7 pestering he endures year round -- well, yeah, sometimes he likes the attention -- and he was just after a little R&R, thankyouverymuch.

"Oh?" I'd said. "Well, did you see the Blue Man Group yet?"

"Yes!" he'd bellowed. "I love those guys! And, you won't believe this, but after the show one of the blue men -- he'd seen me in the audience; everyone else just thought I was a guy in costume and sniggered at me, although one nasty lady poked me in the gut and said, ‘Been spending a little time at Wolfgang's have ya, Big Fella?' Ha, real funny, like I can afford Wolfgang's. Anyway, this blue guy, he invited me backstage. And then, oh god this is so great, I got to go to their afterparty. We went to some place called Rain or whatever -- like they know about rain in Las Vegas! -- where all these skinny chicks writhed around poles. Didn't do much for me. And we finished the night at Divas Las Vegas -- oh, that Joan Rivers character, great coat!"

And then he'd told me he'd be back home in Humboldt pretty soon, but not to wait up for him, and we parted ways.

That was some time ago. I'm pretty sure he's home by now: Bluff Creek, in the fair, furry mountains east of our wild coast, where just about now the town of Willow Creek -- practically Bigfoot's front porch -- is gearing up for the annual Bigfoot Days this Labor Day weekend. This is where the world is invited to celebrate all that matters, really, in the end: the existence of a man hairier than us.

The BF wouldn't miss it for the world. Nor should you! Show up for the parade, BBQ, kids activities, ice cream, games and competitions. Stay for the afterparty (more sightings)!

Bigfoot Days is this Saturday and Sunday, Sept. 4 and 5, in Willow Creek on Highway 299.

Add a comment