The Teutonic hedonists who came up with schadenfreude and the autobahn knew we needed a little something in the fall — a chance to appreciate the season before the big holidays swoop in. They also knew we needed beer.

Shake out your lederhosen, volks, it's Oktoberfest. On Saturday in Rohner Park from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. you can get your oompah on with the Scotia Band's Pumpernickel and Sauerkraut Band and the Humboldt Accordionaires. Feel free to jam with them on your complimentary kazoo. No other band will ever be OK with that, so carpe kazoo.

There's a raffle, races involving beer barrels and steins, even a pretzel toss, and proceeds go to Fortuna Senior Services. Prepare to skip dinner, as bratwurst, red cabbage, German-style potatoes and apple strudel are all on the menu from noon 'til 3 p.m. ($20, $10 for kids under 12). Don't worry, it's good for you — look at Heidi Klum. Wash it down with a stein of Hofbrau, Warsteiner, Lagunitas, Gordon Biersch or Eel River Blonde Ale. Or Coors Light. This is still America, people.

• kitten in a stein. you're welcome.