by Bob Doran
We got a note from the President of the Kinetic Universe this morning taking issue with several things in a short piece in this week's Journal on the Kinetic Grand Championship Sculpture Race, specifically, regarding Sunday night activities in Crab Park on Cannibal Island. (Apparently we were ratted out by KHUM.)
Our correspondent wrote of the island, "Once there, a 'racers-only' night of mandatory camping and debauchery that I can't discuss here ensues. Usually, lots of things get set on fire. (If you want, you can try and bribe your way into Sodom, at your own peril.)"
The President of the Universe writes, "I'm not sure where the information came from in there, but Crab Park certainly has no debauchery (emphasis added) or 'things getting set on fire.' The fire, specifically, could prevent us from ever getting to use Crab Park again, so we wouldn't do that."
We certainly did not mean to imply that Kinetic people are pyromaniacs or that uncontrolled campfires would be allowed -- they are not -- but it is not a no smoking zone, and at least in the past, dragons that breathe fire have been present.
What else goes on? We were discreet and did not offer examples.
The Prez suggets, "That night is closed to the public so that the racers can roll across the Day 2 finish line, have a nice meal and get plenty of sleep for the next day's slough crossing and final finish line in Ferndale."
Sleep? To paraphrase a veteran racer, "That's for sissies."
As to bribing your way in, we're told it will not work. The Prez emphasized, "No amount of bribery will get general public into Crab Park... our security team knows that no one without the special wristband can get in."
In closing, we'll add a reminder that having fun is mandatory on Kinetic weekend, and suggest that taking yourself too seriously should also be discouraged.