Last year we reported on an extraterrestrial infestation in the small Southeast Humboldt town of Bridgeville -- a yearly phenomenon, we would later discover. At the time, the prospect of aliens in our midst -- and the fact that their ranks had grown audacious enough to schedule an annual UFO-themed event known as Bridgefest -- had us plenty scared and terrified and our reporting included seemingly appropriate adjectives such as "odd," "gross," "sickening," "slimy" and "offensive."

But apparently I had these aliens all wrong -- and Bridgeville residents let me know, calling my coverage of the alien activity a "disservice" and admonishingly asking me, "Didn't your mother teach you if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?" I suspect the aliens got to them and I'm looking into...

Hey! Who let you green fellows into my office?! What's that?! A probe?! Don't stick that in my --

BLOOP.

HUMANS OF HUMBOLDT. IT IS ONCE AGAIN TIME FOR YOU TO ENJOY THE ANNUAL BRIDGEFEST EVENT SPONSORED BY THE BRIDGEVILLE COMMUNITY CENTER ON AUG. 20 FROM 10 A.M. TO 5 P.M. ENJOY LIVE MUSIC FROM LOCAL BANDS, A BUSTLING ARTS AND CRAFTS FAIR AND A BUSY KIDS ZONE FOR CREATIVE LITTLE ALIENS.

THERE WILL BE MANY STELLAR GAMES AND CONTESTS INCLUDING THE INTERGALACTIC FLYING SAUCER TRIALS WHERE TEAMS LAUNCH COSMIC VEHICLES FROM THE BRIDGE. DIRECT YOUR EARTH COMPUTERS TO BRIDGEVILLECOMMUNITYCENTER.ORG FOR OFFICIAL RULES.

THERE WILL BE RAFFLES AND SILENT AUCTIONS FEATURING ITEMS THAT MAY BE HELPFUL IN UNDERSTANDING THE TRADITIONS AND CULTURE OF THIS PLANET.

CARNIVOROUS BEINGS WILL ENJOY BBQ PROVIDED BY THE BRIDGEVILLE VOLUNTEER FIRE DEPARTMENT. YUM!

FOR BEINGS WITH LEGS, THIS YEAR WILL ALSO FEATURE THE SECOND ANNUAL 5K FUN RUN -- FREE OF COST FOR PARTICIPANTS FROM ANY UNIVERSE -- STARTING AT 10:30 A.M.

PROCEEDS BENEFIT THE BRIDGEVILLE COMMUNITY CENTER. THOSE WITH QUESTIONS SHOULD USE THEIR EARTH PHONES TO CALL 777-1775 OR VISIT BRIDGEVILLECOMMUNITYCENTER.ORG ON THE WORLD WIDE DIGITAL COMMUNICATION SYSTEM.

YOU WILL GO TO BRIDGEFEST. YOU WILL GO TO BRIDGEFEST. YOU WILL GO TO BRIDGEFEST.

END TRANSMISSION.

ANDREW G. (FOR GREEN) GOFF