• photo by Holly Harvey
• Brian "El Ocho" Thomas at last year's Excalibur Medieval Tournament

Knights, wizards, wannabe dragon slayers, wee lads and lasses, hear ye, hear ye!

In ye olde Humboldt, thar be one thing thou can beest sureth of. On the occasion wheneth the days be becoming evermore curt, thine should knoweth that the season of yore hath returneth. Lo these countless fortnights … uh …

Sorry. You could tell I was struggling. I have no idea how to wield that language. Reboot. All I'm trying to say is fall is here -- the time of year when Humboldt getteth -- oops -- gets -- grr -- medieval!

On Saturday and Sunday, Sept. 24 and 25, the Excalibur Medieval Tournament and Market Faire returns. The gates to the field next to Mad River Hospital open at 10 a.m. each day, allowing attendees entrance to the almost historically accurate period when King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table invented the chivalry we're in the process of slaying. Mount up!

There will be jousting. At noon, 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. each day, the jousting troupe Seattle Knights -- you didn't even know there was such a thing, did ya? -- will mount their trusty steeds to compete with lance and sword for honor and glory.

Also, scratched on this weekend's itinerary parchment are performances by the zany Myth & Magic comedy crew, storytelling by Michael Gallowglas and Carpathian, pyro-juggling by Thomas Wood and dancing by Karmaja and North Coast Irish Dancers. Are you not entertained!?

But as we mentioned, this is medieval season and it goes beyond this weekend. Just as a heads up, Excalibur's rival event, Coastal Grove Charter School's Annual Medieval Festival of Courage is only a few short weeks away -- Oct. 8 and 9. Will past tensions between these reenactors culminate with the Courageous Crew storming Excalibur's outer defenses? Pray for peace, Humboldt. Pray for peace.

Proceeds from the Excalibur Medieval Tournament and Market Faire benefit Mad River Adult Daycare, St. Bernard's Catholic School and Heart of the Redwoods Horse Rescue. For more info, check out excaliburfaire.org.