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Uh... Zombie Wrestling


Zombie Queen
  • Zombie Queen

Screw brightly colored fall leaves. Did you notice those rotting smashed pumpkin shards in your street courtesy of the young neighborhood goblins? So adorable. How 'bout those destroyed flower beds currently framing the Arcata Plaza trampled by the drum circle that camped there last Sunday night? So awe-inspiring. And see those dirt marks up and down the granite pedestal that holds the McKinley statue left by the shoes of drunken HSU students as they scurried up the structure to fulfill their dream of humping the 25th President's face? Ahh, yes. The real indicators of the season. Those mean that another Halloween has come and gone. Alas, we barely knew thee.

But what's that you say? You weren't ready to be done with spooky Halloween bedlam? Well, most years, you'd be S.O.L. But I think I may have just the thing for you:

Prepare to be blessed by (booming scary voice) Zombie Throwdown: "Battle for the Brains!," a "fun'raiser" for the Kinetic Grand Championship and Kinetic Universe. On Thursday, Nov. 4, the premiere Humboldt location for undead fighting, the Arcata Playhouse, is your destination for a night of comedically gory, WWF-style, knock down, drag out, possibly-choreographed-as-if-you-care zombie action sure to make you question the sanity of all involved. Expect guts and glory, but be sure to protect your brains. Bar opens at 7 p.m. Bodies hit the floor starting at 8 p.m. Tickets are $10, or $7 if you bring your own cup (which you can use to hold brains or booze. Your choice.)

The Journal spoke with undead gladiator Rutabaga Queen and Kinetic President Monica Topping (being a zombie does not inhibit your ability to tweet, apparently) who has been training furiously for her grudge match with Queen Mo "Mo Betta'" Burke, one of the more highly anticipated matches on the night's card. "She kicked my butt last time we fought. I aim to make up for that," Monica stated defiantly, adding she thinks she has a "whopping 50/50 chance" of emerging victorious. Bold words, Monica!

Topping wisely refused to reveal her winning strategy, until pressed by the Journal to make something up. "Oh, in that case, there is potential of a sleeper hold. Maybe a full-on body slam." Them's (somewhat reserved) fightin' words! You heard it here first, folks!

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