by Kali Cozyris
It's the middle of May and in Humboldt, that means one thing: Kinetic madness is right around the corner. Priming the pump (we came up with that) for Memorial Day weekend's Kinetic Grand Championship is the annual Rutabaga Ball, happening this Saturday, May 20 from 7 p.m. to midnight at the Bayside Grange Hall ($12, $10 if you bring your own non-disposable cup). The majestic three-round pageant, where competition is fierce and bribery is blatant and rampant (and encouraged!), introduces the community to a bevy of beauties all vying for the coveted title of Rutabaga Queen. The Queen's duties? Reigning gloriously over the 2017 Kinetic Grand Championship Race, making sure all her subjects are happy and having fun.
The ball, hosted by Kinetic Universe, is an evening of more glitter than you remember encountering past the age of five. The battle royale includes Ball Gown, Bay Crossing (swimsuit-scwhimsuit) and Talent rounds. Live music by Christina and the Northcoasters will keep the taffeta twirling all night, and Rutabaga Royal cocktails, beer from Mad River Brewing Company and cider from Humboldt Cider Company will make sure your whistle's wet — which is good because the more noise you make for your queenly contender, the better she fares.
So, suit up, show up and root for your Ruta. Doors and bar open at 7 p.m. and the sparkly good times begin at 8 p.m.