Welcome back to our second installment of passive-aggressive seasonal shopping tips, where we help you give to worthy causes in the name of friends and foes alike. How can you do good in the world when you've got so much beef? Possibly with beefcake.

Gift: The 2018 Cats & Casanovas Calendar
Like last year's retro-sassy Pinups and Pooches, every month features a winking but totally tame photo by Amber Ferriman. The brainchild of Ferriman and Shannon Townsend, this year's calendar features handsome fellows of the North Coast with kitties. Rowr. The bookish beefcake image from the Kickstarter page should give you an idea of what to expect for your $20 contribution. They're available at the Companion Animal Thrift Shop (88 Sunnybrae Center, Arcata), Sangha Tattoo (1806 Fourth St., Eureka) and Caravan of Dreams (893 H St., Arcata), as well as at the Humboldt Crabs fundraiser at Lost Coast Brewery (617 Fourth St., Eureka) on Wednesday, Dec. 13 at 5:30 p.m.

Benefits: Companion Animal Foundation
Last year's calendar cash supported Companion Animal Foundation's mobile veterinarian clinic, spaying, neutering and vaccinating animals in rural Humboldt County to reduce the number of strays and ultimately save animal lives. The organization is working on a mobile vet clinic to extend into more remote areas and provide services on tribal lands, too. The fundraising goal is $110,000. Those mobile units aren't cheap, even with the volunteer help of dedicated veterinarians. So not only are these playful photos guilt-free because they're not reductive or objectifying, you're doing it for the animals.

Nice List: Surely among your friends there is crossover between people who love cats, those with a saucy sense of humor and those to whom these fellows would be catnip. Every time he or she turns the page to the next month — perhaps the bearded lumberjack with the calico? — you'll be remembered with a wink and a grin. And honestly it would be a nice break for anyone to see some dudes behaving themselves and doing some good in the world by posing and petting some happy cats instead of just grabbing pussies. For real.

Naughty List: This makes a catty hint for your neighbors who refuse to spay or neuter their dog or cat, opting instead to offer your children free, crusty-eyed puppies or kittens from a ratty cardboard box every six months. You know, the same neighbor whose pet rolls down the block with its enormous nads on display as you stoop to pick up landmine turds from its legion of feral offspring. Deep breaths. Just put the calendar in the mailbox with a cheerful note saying something like, "Hey, this cheeky, ironic beefcake calendar made me smile and think of you because you're an animal lover and also for the love of Lady and the Tramp get your goddamn pets fixed." You don't have to sign it.