It's Jan. 1, 2018. The first day of a brand new year. Odds are most people are either hungover, still asleep, or getting an early start on their resolutions and going jogging for the first time in a decade or squashing an ancient family feud or finally getting around to reading an unreadably long masterpiece from the canon of western literature (don't do it, it isn't worth it. I'm looking at you, Melville). Anyway, everything's closed. Put on Thelonious Monk's solo piano album and clean up the mess you made last year. You will feel better.
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