• Shutterstock

I really dug deep for this one but I have to be honest, apart from a regular restaurant gig — Tony Roach at The Victorian Inn at 6 p.m. and Rude Lion Sound's regular dancehall Monday deal at The Ocean Grove at 9:30 p.m., both of which I have mentioned in this column before, I can't find any shows to recommend tonight. It's Monday, after all, but a real dead one at that. How dead is it? How about deader than a bigoted evangelist who told a delighted and agreeable Richard Nixon during a taped conversation in 1972 that Jewish people have a "stranglehold" on America that "has got to be broken or the country's going down the drain." Deader than the snake oil salesman who helped to destroy the separation of church and state in this country by weaponizing religion to the detriment of millions of people, religious and secular alike. Deader than the apocalyptically-obsessed creep who openly supported the disastrous war in Vietnam and privately advised bombing campaigns too horrific in projected casualties even for the aforementioned President Nixon. Just spit-balling here and using my lazy creativity to imagine this recently deceased and purely fictional charlatan to illustrate how grave-like tonight is, as no one with so outlandishly ugly a character could have achieved any prominence as a national moralist in real life.