Arts + Scene » Poetry

God Getting Old



Just for practice, I created
another planet.  Took me a week,
and it was still unmanned!
   And now I’m stiff and sore all over.

Went to cancel it, but
couldn’t remember where I put it.
Now it’ll probably run into
   one of the others!

So I went to check out Earth.
It had been a while.  My god,
   it was overgrown!  And all the
Non-Believers!  More sodomy
than at Sodom!  I went to wash
   it clean, but they said I promised
      not to do that again!
         Now, when did I do that?

Told the Pope, never mind the
“Be fruitful and multiply”—
he said it would never fly
   at the Synod, but to check back with him
next visit.  Smote him down--an eyeblink later
there was white smoke, and another
   in his place.

Took a chariot out of there—
halfway to Heaven I realized
   the turn signal was still on!

Hard to relax—maybe a little nap—
but here are all the original Hell’s Angels
   running across the lawn!
Now, where did I put that brimstone?

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