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Not Ready For Our Close-Up

Four Humboldt-shot flicks that put After Earth to (slightly less) shame ...



By now you've seen After Earth, or you've heard the epithets tossed its way: boring, turgid, narcissistic, M. Night Shyamalan. About the only nice thing anyone can say about the Will Smith vanity project (currently sitting at a cool 11 percent positive rating on meta-critic site is that it co-stars some purty redwoods.

Of course, After Earth isn't the first flick to feature our fair county. And, surprisingly, it may not be the worst. We dredged up some other made-in-Humboldt stinkers, along with their Rotten Tomatoes stats, so you wouldn't have to. You're welcome.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

The plot: The third installment of the Halloween franchise ditches iconic killer Michael Myers for a bunch of muddled nonsense about pagan rituals. Sort of like replacing Michael Jordan with Toni Kukoc.

Key Humboldt location: You don't realize how creepy Loleta is until you see it standing in for the town of "Santa Mira," home of the Silver Shamrock Novelties factory, which makes a helluva lot more than cheese.

Critical consensus: 35 percent positive

Jennifer 8 (1992)

The plot: A Los Angeles cop (Andy Garcia, "fresh" off The Godfather: Part III) escapes to a small town and soon finds himself on the trail of a killer who blah, blah, blah ...

Key Humboldt location: Most movies pretend Humboldt is somewhere else (a post-apocalyptic hellscape, a remote Costa Rican island, the place where Dustin Hoffman chases that monkey). This one actually name-drops Eureka. Thanks ... a lot. Critical consensus: 35 percent positive

Almost Heroes (1998)

The plot: No-brow "comedy" about two moronic explorers (Matthew Perry from Friends and an extra-bloated Chris Farley in his final film role) trying to beat Lewis and Clark to the westward punch.

Key Humboldt location: Humboldt Lagoons State Park in Trinidad boasts gorgeous scenery, but we're betting the hard-partying Farley was drawn by some other trees.

Critical consensus: 14 percent positive

Jezebel's Kiss (1990)

The plot: Plot? OK ... there's this chick, see, and she wants to avenge her family by, like, um, having lots of sex and stuff. (Co-stars Meredith Baxter, the mom from Family Ties. For real.)

Key Humboldt location: Mad River Hospital makes an appearance, but even it couldn't resuscitate.

Critical consensus: 0 percent positive

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