I last talked with Spalding Gray at Wildberries Marketplace on the afternoon of his last Center Arts performance. I'd had dinner with him in Pittsburgh (along with six or eight others) several years before, where the general conversation was high-spirited — at least until he quietly observed that he couldn't laugh anymore. He didn't know why. He just couldn't.
But when I ran into him at Wildberries, he smiled broadly and spoke with enthusiasm about the Humboldt landscape. It was January 2001, just months before he suffered major injuries in a car accident, including brain damage. In this film about his life, Spalding Gray says that the years leading up to the 2001 accident were the happiest of his life. Three years later he was dead, presumably by suicide.
Spalding Gray virtually invented the autobiographical monologue, although he preferred to call what he did "poetic journalism." Several of his monologues became feature films, including Swimming to Cambodia (directed by Jonathan Demme in 1987) and Gray's Anatomy (directed by Steven Soderbergh in 1996.)
Soderbergh and his team assembled pieces of video — monologues, interviews, reflections — into a kind of posthumous autobiography, with the help of Kathie Russo, Gray's widow. There are gaps (notably in the years of his greatest celebrity) and the portrait that emerges may or may not be accurate (there's emphasis on death and suicide throughout.) But the contours of his life and career are here, from childhood obsessions to the fatherhood that started those happy years. Between them were the yearnings and penchant for seeking extremes, and then the need to construct monologues about the resulting experiences.
In the film he says that at a certain point he got tired of talking about himself, and sought ways to talk about other people. I witnessed him one sunny afternoon in PPG Place in Pittsburgh, soliciting stories from an assembled audience. He was a careful, caring listener, and people responded. Later he told some of these stories with as much pith and power as he told his own.
This DVD includes an informative "making of" extra, in which Soderbergh owns up to his cowardice in avoiding Gray after his accident. It also includes Gray's first monologue, "Sex and Death to Age 14." Although chaotic, it had his signature emphasis on details as well as the humor and honesty (and the poetic inventions) that he would learn to structure in his later, more mesmerizing works.
The film's title comes from a monologue in which Gray talks about his father's attempt to create the perfect suburban home, but even though "everything is going fine," there is always one more thing to buy or do to create the completely protected life.