Best Place to Meet Singles:
Humboldt County Courthouse
Best Place to Break Up with Someone:
Murder Mountain
I'm not judging, Humboldt, but I am concerned. Wait, sorry, I am judging. The Humboldt County Courthouse winning out against our bars and cafes as your favorite setting for your meet-cute isn't a huge surprise, since the jail has held the title before. (FYI, not everybody there is single.) And last year's champion break-up venue the Hatchet House was another sign that our county's dating scene was rough. But damn, people — Murder Mountain is a dark turn. It's time for extreme measures before we go any further with the true-crime-podcast vibes. That's right, I'm giving romantic advice. Try meeting somebody at a local festival — you'll start off with common interests, you can gauge their patience/propensity for violence standing in an insane line for food and learn immediately if they dance like that one guy up front at a jam band show. And for breakups, consider an ice cream joint. Nobody can make a scene or shout about anything too private with all those kids around and this was all probably going to end with a dairy binge anyway. And if they suggest a farewell drive to the mountains, say no.
Jennifer Fumiko Cahill
Bonus
Bathroom
Phatsy Kline's Parlor Lounge
129 Second St., Eureka, (707) 407-0634 historiceaglehouse.com/phatsy-kline-s
Building Wherein to Find a Ghost
Eagle House Inn
124 C St., Eureka
(707) 444-3344 historiceaglehouse.com
Hangout for Seniors
Humboldt Senior Resource Center
1910 California St., Eureka
(707) 443-9747 humsenior.org
Local Activist
John "Griff" Griffith
Local Author
J. Lynn Bailey
Local Cause
Food For People
2112 Broadway, Eureka
(707) 445-3166 foodforpeople.org
Local Do-Gooder
Betty Chinn
133 Seventh St., Eureka
(707) 407-3833 bettychinn.org
Local Firefighter
Gannon Chapman, Fortuna Fire
320 S Fortuna Blvd., Fortuna
(707) 725-5021 fortunafire.com
Local Personality
Bigfoot
Local Podcast
Humboldt Last Week
Local Police Officer
Lindsey Frank, Fortuna Police
621 11th St., Fortuna
(707) 725-7550 friendlyfortuna.com/PD
Local Politician
Natalie Arroyo
Local Radio Personality
J.B. Mathers
Local Radio Station
KHUM
(707) 786-5104 khum.com
Local Teacher
Eugene Novotney
Cal Poly Humboldt, Music A 103
(707) 826-3728
music.humboldt.edu/people/eugene-novotney
Local TV Station
KEET TV
(707) 445-0813 keet.org
Locally Made Product (Non-Food)
Holly Yashi Jewelry
1300 Ninth St., Arcata
(707) 822-5132 hollyyashi.com
New Business
Redwood Community Pharmacy
1567 City Center Road, McKinleyville
(707) 633-4884 redwoodcommunityrx.com
Outdoor Seating
Septentrio Winery
650 Sixth St., Arcata
(707) 672-2058 septentriowinery.com
Parking Lot
Any that they're about to turn into an apartment ...
Place for a Picnic
Sequoia Park
3550 W St., Eureka
Place to Break Up With Someone
Murder Mountain
Place to Meet Singles
Humboldt County Courthouse
825 Fifth St., Eureka
(707) 445-725 humboldt.courts.ca.gov
Place to Take a Selfie
Trinidad Head
1.5 miles west of U.S. Highway 101, Trinidad
Place to Worship
Faith Center Foursquare Church
1032 Bay St., Eureka
(707) 442-1784 eurekafaithcenter.org
Social Justice Organization
Teen Court Boys & Girls Club
939 Harris St., Eureka
444-0153 bgcredwoods.org