Festival Mash-up We'd Most Like to See (2015 Staff Pick)

Sometimes there's just too much going on and heavy-hitter events are piled up on for the same weekends. Why split the audience when we can combine fests and crank up the fun? It struck me as last year's Pride parade made its rainbow route past Paddlefest (losing a few sparkly wigged participants to a kayaking information booth), that Paddlin' Pride would be even better. Likewise, Fortuna Rodeo and the Humboldt Folklife Festival could put their boots and banjos together.

But the Dr. Moreau-style hybrid that appeals most is the Kinetic Grand Championship and the Ferndale Veteran's Day parade. After all, they take place on the same day on the same street. And why should the vets have to yield Main Street — what, you serve your country on the battlefield and you only get the morning? Instead, retired warriors and spunky ROTC kids could defend Ferndale from kinetic invaders rolling in on flaming dragons and giant sharks. Sure, the racers have water, steep hills, sand dunes and sheer exhaustion to contend with, but how much more glorious would victory be if they had to make a final push past the famed Ferndale tank to cross the finish line? Freedom isn't free, and neither is glory.

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