(Sent from the near future — there's an app for that now.)
I'm writing to complain about the prices at the farmers market. Four-hundred-and-fifty dollars per ounce for Sour Diesel is exorbitant and unnecessary. I thought the price would come down after legalization! Where do they think the money is going to come from in our broke county? Sure, I could buy e-joints or Marlboro Tobbacijuana, but we should spend our money locally, right? We're all broke together, right?
Selling Eureka in a national garage sale was a good idea, but we hardly got anything for it, as you know. Converting Humboldt State to an Indian-gaming weed-themed amusement park/casino is still two years from completion. But enrollment is way up. And, of course, we haven't even heard from McKinleyville since their secession. Heaven only knows what's happening up there. I'm sure it's on President Clinton's agenda.
Finally, we Humboldtians should think long and hard about the Japanese offer. How much hassle could a little power plant be? Let's all be considerate of our common plight, and avoid the derogatory names (Slumboldt, Bumboldt, Dumbolt, Humdolt) no matter how personally fitting we may personally feel they are. We're all in this together, people! After all, who could have seen this coming?