My husband recently moved out of the area for work, leaving me and our 1-year-old here for a few months until we find housing. I work full time and when I'm home I'm a full time mom, waking up at night to a crying baby, cooking, changing diapers and so on. I don't even remember the last time I got to use the restroom by myself besides at work!
Last night my husband said he was going to dinner with his friend. I was happy for him because I thought "He probably misses us like crazy, this will be good for him." He called me on his lunch break today, and when I asked him where they went, he replied, "My friend chose Hooters." I immediately hung up. I was appalled! I'm here slaving away like a single parent while he is out at Hooters? Come on — you don't go there for the wings. He's not a flirt, but since I'm so overwhelmed by our situation, I just can't see past this. Am I overreacting?
We're supposed to visit him this weekend, but part of me doesn't want to. Help!
— Mad Mom
This is a tricky one, eh? Ultimately, I do think you're overreacting if you don't visit your husband this weekend, but I'm not saying you're totally wrong for being upset.
In my opinion (and that's all this column really is, right? My opinion?), this incident is pretty low on the ladder of crappy behavior your husband could exhibit. Granted, we don't know if he was flirting with any of the Hooter's girls but you say that's not his typical behavior. You're right, it's not like anybody goes there for the fine (or even mediocre) dining, so I totally get why you're feeling pissed off and dejected. Being stuck with a baby and working full time likely doesn't leave you much time to go to, say, the Thunder From Down Under. We have to believe it was his friend's idea. On the other hand, he didn't object. I'm guessing that if he was out being a total creep, he wouldn't have told you he was there. Honesty is crucial, even when you know your partner may not want to hear what you have to say. So I like that he told you and he should be acknowledged for doing so. I absolutely think you should still go visit him. You're both going through a lot of stress and upheaval and your relationship isn't going to be strengthened by freezing him out and staying home. You need to be together as much as you can right now, even if you're pissed off when you get there.
Someone at work insists on using excessive punctuation and capitalizes the Wrong Letters!! I know it's not a big Deal!!!! But it's unprofessional!! I'm afraid he makes our workplace look BAD!!! I have called it to his attention, and he shrugs it off!!! He doesn't think it's a big deal but it makes him, and by extension us, look like backward illiterates. WHO'S JOB IS IT to get this bozo to stop embarrassing us? What's a subtle trick to show this person that it affects us all? HELP ME CONVINCE HIM, MCGUINTY!
Oh God, my eyes. MY EYES! This letter burns them. I can't imagine what it must be like to work with someone who sends out correspondence on behalf of your company that looks like, well, that.
I wish you'd mentioned whether this person is a supervisor, subordinate or lateral co-worker. That matters here. You ask whose job it is to get him or her to top embarrassing your company — it's the boss's job.
If you're the boss, that means it's up to you to correct him or her. If this person is the boss, that's much trickier. If neither of you has authority over the other, I think it's perfectly reasonable to approach your boss with your concerns. Tell your supervisor that you don't want to be the grammar police, but that this is a far greater issue than you're/your, and it does indeed make your company look less professional. Now that your letter is in "Hey McGuinty," it wouldn't hurt to leave 9 or 15 copies laying around your office in hopes the offender will read it and realize this is a serious issue, not just an overly critical co-worker being a jerk.