Some exotics,
such as Hawaii's caution
against falling coconuts,
do actually serve a purpose.
Can there, after all,
be a more galling exit
than to have one's skull
pina colada'ed
while one photo-poses
clad in garish tourist garb?

But apart from the initial novelty
of faking terror and relief,
what is one to make
of the blue sawtooth wave
announcing one's relative vulnerabilty
to extinction by tsunami?

Perhaps all newborns
should simply be indelibly stamped
with the message:
"Entering a Zone of Vulnerabilty--
Be Prepared for Anything."

A cancellation stamp
could be issued
upon one's demise;
or, alternatively,
the initial injunction
could be allowed to stand.