• Submitted
• Rebel Craft Rumble

The first rule of Rebel Craft Rumble is don't talk about — wait, sorry — it's actually "no glitter." Because, sweet mother of Martha Stewart, you'll never get rid of it. But pretty much anything else goes at the fifth annual SCRAP benefit on Saturday, March 24 at 6:30 p.m. in the battle octagon of the Arcata Playhouse ($15).

Get there on time for happy hour, eating, drinking and mingling with crafty types and judges — yours truly will be among those scoring the macra-mayhem — but don't get too yarn bombed because the action starts at 7:30 p.m. Faced with weirdly specific Iron Chef-esque challenges (weapons? disguises?) and a surprise selection of oddball supplies (vintage tech waste? busted toys?), four teams will duke it out with glue guns, duct tape, their chosen secret weapons in 10-minute rounds of speed-upcycling. Like so many competitions in Humboldt, shameless bribery is encouraged. (FYI, I'm a Scorpio and a Star Wars fan, and I wear a medium crown.) What?

This year's challengers for the lifetime title of Extreme Ultimate Supreme Craft Master — and the ever-expanding trophy that comes with it — include seasoned pros The Crafty Ladies and newcomers R&C Craft Factory, The Beaver Sisters and VaVa Voom. All this madness goes to support SCRAP's trash diversion and educational programs. Let's get ready to rumble.