• Photo by Scottie Lee Meyers
• Sequoia Park playground

For a professional jungle gymnast, this result was a huge upset: Eureka's Sequoia Park?!

Let's talk about another place, first. Janes Creek Meadows Park, aka "Spinny" park, looks like a mini NASA training facility. It has elliptical pods that orbit with such force that your eyes roll back. The professional jungle gymnast in me thinks that playgrounds that constantly threaten to make kids barf up their lunch should be the gold standard.

But that's why we count the ballots, people, and it seems nice little Sequoia pushed that bully Spinny out of line and now rides the slide alone!

Did I mention that I'm a professional jungle gymnast? Let me bestow some analysis upon this here category. Now, I know 10-year-olds generally don't read the Journal. Which means Sequoia Park was picked by a bunch of untrustworthy adults. What do you know about playgrounds, old people? You can't even fit in the swings anymore!

Good point. You probably like Sequoia Park because it offers more than just a playground: shaded gazebos, barbecue grills, a public restroom, plenty of grass and a few acres of trails that lead to a romantic duck pond. I get that. But, still, have you seen the giant rope thingy at Spinny park that looks like it was conceived at Burning Man?

Also, let me just say this about the winner: Parents, have you ever thought about the fact that there is a zoo in Sequoia Park? And you know what's in that zoo? Bears! Well, bear, anyway. What would happen if said bear broke loose and snatched little Timmy Tucker off the redwood tree stump slide? Sound far fetched? Note this headline from the Feb. 12, 1940, Humboldt Standard: "Bear Escapes Cage At Sequoia Park." Apparently, Teddy the bear escaped his cage and scampered his way to the duck pond. He later tripped down a hill and got stuck in some mud, where zookeepers were able to recapture him. I wouldn't make this stuff up. Even if I wanted to I couldn't, because I'm a professional jungle gymnast.

The Breakdown: Sequoia Park 17.5%, "Spinny Park" 11.1%, Redwood Park 10.6%, Jefferson School 3.6%, Arcata Community Center 1.9%. Category popularity: 36th.